Parent Effectiveness Training

Join our Parenting Effectiveness Training (PET) Course, 8 sessions x 3 hrs, which takes you through the Behaviour Window, the full set of communication and conflict-resolution skills and all the principles that underpin Thomas Gordon’s approach.  This course is accredited by Gordon Training International and carries a Certificate, which can be used as part of your Continuing Professional Development; and will be a valuable addition to any CV that focusses on working with children.  

This course will give you the opportunity to explore and find answers to the following questions:

Relationship and Problem Prevention Skills

  • What is an effective Parent?
  • How can I accurately identify what is in my child’s behaviour?
  • How does my child’s behaviour link to their needs?
  • What are the 3 influences that move my child’s behaviour from ‘acceptable’ to ‘unacceptable’?
  • When there is a problem, how do I know which communication skill to use?
  • What do I do if there is a conflict?
  • How do I expand the time with my family, where there are no problems?
  • Can I stop problems from starting in the first place?
Helping Attitudes – Helping Skills – Active Listening

  • How do I know my child has a problem they want to talk about?
  • How do I help to keep my child talking?
  • How do I resist taking on my child’s problems, so they can find their own solution?
  • What are helping attitudes?
  • What skills can I use to show my child I accept and understand them?
  • What is active listening and how do I do it?
  • What do I say to help my child resolve their problem, without taking charge?
  • How do I mediate, without being drawn in, when my family are arguing?
Confronting Skills

  • How can I be more assertive in my parenting?
  • What do I do when I have a problem with my child’s behaviour?
  • What’s the difference between a You-message and an I-message?
  • Can I congruently tell my child I have a problem with their behaviour?
  • What do I have to do to keep my child’s self-esteem intact?
  • How do I deal with defensiveness?
  • What do I say to ensure my message is received and understood?
  • What do I do if the problem happens again?
Win/win Conflict Resolution Skills

  • How do I feel about confrontation?
  • What is the cost of using power and submission in my parenting?
  • Can I influence my children more; and control them less?
  • How do I manage my anger?
  • Is there such a thing as win/win conflict resolution?
  • How can we stop arguments and find solutions that work?
  • What’s the difference between a solution and a need?
  • What skills do I need to use Conflict Resolution with my family?
  • How can our family make rules/decisions that work for everyone?
Values Collision/Influencing Skills

  • What is the difference between a conflict of needs and a conflict of values?
  • What are my values; and do I want to keep them?
  • Am I separate enough from my child, to allow them to be different from me?
  • Can I be a congruent parent?
  • How do I start difficult conversations?
  • How can I influence my child to adopt my values?
  • How do we move from colliding values, towards accepting difference?

A Credo for My Relationships with Others

You and I are in a relationship which I value and want to keep.   We are also two separate persons with our own individual values and needs.  So that we will better know and understand what each of us values and needs, let us always be open and honest in our communication.

When you are experiencing a problem in your life, I will try to listen with genuine acceptance and understanding in order to help you find your own solutions rather than imposing mine.  And I want you to be a listener for me when I need to find solutions to my problems.

At those times when your behavior interferes with what I must do to get my own needs met, I will tell you openly and honestly how your behavior affects me, trusting that you respect my needs and feelings enough to try to change the behavior that is unacceptable to me.  Also, whenever some behavior of mine is unacceptable to you, I hope you will tell me openly and honestly so I can try to change my behavior.

And when we experience conflicts in our relationship, let us agree to resolve each conflict without either of us resorting to the use of power to win at the expense of the other’s losing.  I respect your needs, but I also must respect my own.  So let us always strive to search for a solution that will be acceptable to both of us.  Your needs will be met, and so will mine–neither will lose, both will win.  In this way, you can continue to develop as a person through satisfying your needs, and so can I.

Thus, ours can be a healthy relationship in which both of us can strive to become what we are capable of being. And we can continue to relate to each other with mutual respect, love and peace.

Dr. Thomas Gordon

Copyright 1978 Gordon Training International

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